September

How has your summer been? I hope it's been good. And now here we are in September, I thought it was time to make a quick post.
College has started up again and after wanting to completely restart, put the wheels in motion, get things changed, Violet then decided that it wasn't the right course of action and was able to continue where she'd left off. The realisation of how wiping the slate clean and going back to the beginning hit her and she understood why some of us had been less than keen on her intentions, but let her get on with it because ... her life, her decision. At least she came to her senses.
There are times when I question my parental choices. Mum guilt is real, and it isn't the obvious mum guilt of the working mum. I chose to be a stay at home mum for so many reasons, and it wasn't always easy. You get questioned all the time for being 'a housewife and mum'. The best was 'what do you do all day'. Seriously, if you have to ask anyone that, look at yourself and ask why you would have nothing to do! There is ALWAYS something to do. Anyway. My main reason was I wanted to be here for Violet, and I wanted to be able to get involved in her school life: helping out in class, going on school trips, all of which I did. Sick days and school holidays give so many problems to working parents, and I did not want to leave her with my mum. My mum raised my nephews as my sister worked full time. Which was fine for all involved, but there were many times when it was 7 days a week if my sister wanted to do things at the weekend. Again, great if everyone is happy. But more than once I saw the boys run to Nan for comfort instead of their mum because that was what they were used to. I never wanted that to happen to me, I can't think of anything worse than watching your child go to someone else for comfort when you are right there, even if it is their Nan.
The guilt I have is if Violet has been too privileged. Not in a financial way or spoilt with gifts, just spoilt with having someone always there and always home to help. I always believed you could never spoil a child with 'too much' time, but perhaps if I hadn't always been around and she'd just had to get on with things it might have helped her to have that attitude now. Doubtful, I know, but it has crossed my mind. You can't always stop something and go back to the start. Life does not work that way. So yes, there are times when I have a massive amount of guilt, even though I did - and still do - what I consider to be the right thing. Not easy being a parent is it, even when they are grown.

That said, she seemed to have a shift in attitude after realising that she didn't want to erase the year she'd already done. Like something clicked in her brain, and for once she seemed to be totally at ease and happy. To the point of wanting to start driving lessons, which was a subject we'd broached just after she turned 17 but she declined, saying she didn't feel ready yet. Well, now she does and has her first lesson soon. Really hoping she enjoys it and gets on well. I don't drive, I tried but it wasn't for me. I wasn't far from 30 when I started lessons and by then The Fear had set in and I hated it. I failed two tests, and both times when behind the wheel I remember thinking to myself 'shouldn't be doing this, I haven't got a clue what I'm doing'. Doing it when you're young is the right thing, when you have the confidence and want to do it, and before The Fear kicks in.

We didn't grow a massive amount of veggies this year. Tomatoes were the main thing, and while late, they are still going. We've given lots away to nice neighbours, I've taken plenty to my mum, and we have lots for ourselves.
Talking of neighbours, the idiot next door continues in her nonsense. She's done several things, all of which are just pointless and not worth talking about, but just last week she threatened to call the police on me. My crime? I'd gone just around the wall of our garden to clip back some of the plants that were hanging over enough for her to decide to hack and chuck back when the mood takes. To stop her from doing that I decided to do it myself, which meant venturing just a step or two on their drive. It's an open drive. Five minutes is all it took, I cut back what I could, took it to our brown bin, then came back and swept any fallen leaves from their drive. I was so focused I hadn't noticed that she was loitering somewhere, and when she realised I'd finished and wasn't going to go all along - thus walking up near their house - she had to say something. So a gnarly voice said quietly 'get off the drive, or I'll call the police ... your choice'. I gave no reaction. Totally ignored her, carried on with walking, sweeping the path in our front garden, and didn't utter a word. She's probably still wondering if I heard her due to the lack of reaction. But I heard. And I see what she's up to. Desperately hoping that we'll argue with her or do or say something so she can cry 'I'm scared, they're threatening me' or suchlike and call the police. It took all my mental strength not to turn around tell her 'call them, I'll wait'. Because we've done nothing wrong. The same can't be said for her, oh, and I have the receipts to prove it. Stupid woman. I'd have loved to have heard that call to the police 'she's cutting her plant, and sweeping up the dropped leaves!!' yep, never mind all the serious crime, a spiteful moron needs to waste police time! To anyone dealing with a bully such as this, just heed my advice and totally ignore them. It's not easy but just stay quiet and blank them. Don't engage in any way, but make sure you keep a record of all they do. It's tiresome, tedious and very boring, but ignoring stupid is the best thing to do.

Christmas is approaching. I want to enjoy the autumn when it finally kicks in (we are currently having a rotten heatwave), so I'm getting bits done early. Christmas crackers are already in the house, I've made a start on buying a few bits for my mum's hamper, and today the advent calendar arrived. Pretty impressive as I only ordered it yesterday.

Last year I was not impressed with the Rituals calendar. The design was not good and I am sure I mentioned it at the time. It was a cardboard christmas tree design but the thing would not stand up properly and the little gifts wouldn't stay on the chunky 'branches'. I threw out the cardboard tree and instead put the gifts on the little fake tree we have on the upstairs landing. It worked well but I decided if they had another poor design this year we'd get a different calendar. Well, this year they have gone back to the 'christmas village' look which is much nicer, but does take up a lot of room. I would have got it but the price increase of £15 was too much for my liking. So instead of that one, I've opted for the lower price one which in all honesty I think looks much nicer. It won't take up so much space and is still filled with lots of lovely goodies.

How pretty is that? Looks like a traditional calendar, but each door holds a gift. I happen to know that it includes four mini candles, which is perfect. It should work out that we each get a candle. I don't mind having a splurge on a calendar as Bill, Violet and I share it. This is the 4th year of us sharing a decent calendar, so I'm calling it a tradition, a really nice one. But I do have a limit on how much I'd spend, some of them are stupid money. If you look on You Tube there are plenty of you tubers who do unboxing of luxury calendars, so you get to see exactly what they are like. Worth taking a look if you are considering treating yourself.

Finally found a copy of The New Yorker with a cover that I liked. The plan had always been to add more to the living room wall, so each week I look but haven't found one that I liked for ages. On Thursday I saw this, and of course had to get it.

It's called 'The Bodega Cat', and looks just like Henry Cat when he's lazing on the island in the kitchen. I've framed it already, and will stock up with another three frames the same. I just have to hope that I can find three covers that I like fairly quickly, it's really nice seeing this little New Yorker gallery wall that we have growing in the living room.

Well I think that's us all caught up now. Not a massive amount going on. Bill had his six month check up recently and all is well there thank goodness. Henry Cat continues to stick his claws in anywhere that he shouldn't and still refuses to purr for me ever. Violet is a teenager, so enough said there. And as for me. Well, I plod on. Arranging flowers, keeping the house clean and tidy, and feeding us all. I aim to put two videos on You Tube a month, sometimes I manage it, other times not. The last one I shared shows a little Christmas project that I wanted to get done early. That's about all the crafting I've done this year, that and a Nutcracker Man makeover. Other than that I have had no interest in crafting at all.
Have yet to have a video up for September which is not good considering we are half way through already, but I have one in the works so it'll be up at some point. The link is on the top of this page if you are interested.