April

When I last wrote I fully intended to take a break from blogging, but didn't know how much of a break it would be. As we've just celebrated Easter it seems it was quite long.
Around this time last year Bill found out about a touch of cancer. We told no one, not until we had to. Violet was the priority, she was going through her GCSE's, and then going away to a summer camp so we had to wait until the time was right to tell her. Not that there is ever a right time to deliver news like that.
On the plus side it was found early enough for them to be able to treat swiftly but without the need for urgency, Bill had time to mull things over and come to his own decision about treatment. After endless hospital appointments, phonecalls and blood tests, medication began in September and just before Christmas the radiotherapy started, going on until the middle of January. To say that it has been an incredibly stressful time is an understatement. My initial reaction was to stop all home improvements as they paled from significance, I immediately lost interest in all of it. Bill wanted to forge ahead, so we continued with all of our plans. Doctors advise you to stick to any plans and carry on as normal, so that's what we did. That's why dealing with the miserable and vindictive old crone next door was getting me down. Really had enough to be going on with without her being such a spiteful pain just because she has nothing going on in her life.
Anyway. It's ok. I can't do cartwheels and shout 'cancer free' because the fact is that things are being managed, hopefully, due to the early discovery things are now fairly normal. Just check ups and blood tests forever more. It's one of those cancers that has a good survival rate, but to anyone out there, if you or a loved one have any form of cancer diagnosis and you feel devastated despite people assuring you 'everything will be ok', you are more than entitled to feel devastated. People try to minimalise it for many reasons (mostly good), but it is always going to be scary and it turns your world upside down. Hearing the word is enough to make your blood run cold. Feeling upset is perfectly normal.
Bill is amazing. He didn't complain once, or feel sorry for himself. He got on with it and did everything he was asked to do, he was just lovely to the NHS staff, taking them presents of food and coffee by way of a thank you, but most of all he was more concerned that Violet and I shouldn't be worried. Easier said than done.
One Thursday morning in January he got up from the final treatment and rang the bell on his way out. That was quite an emotional day.
This is all the talking about it I'm going to do. I mention it now as I've touched on it on the Gram so it's not a secret.
We all have problems, great and small, I wanted to give a brief outline of why I haven't been massively bothered about blogging. And I'm still not, to be honest. I like to write but I can't always be upbeat and positive and I don't always want to share. I have no plans for a Big Return, but I shall post from time to time. I don't want to share private details, and nothing but my flowers and magazines does not make for a fascinating read. Some days that's literally all I've got - or am prepared - to share.
A happy medium may have been found though. I've resurrected a very old blog of mine, one I set up about ten years ago to show the results of recipes I followed in books or magazines. It wasn't an everyday blog, something to do when the mood took. I found it recently and tried to get into the account, but being so old it wouldn't let me. So I've recreated it as closely as I could using a different name [Cooking the books]. I've been on a roll lately and have made and photographed a few recipes.

Improving my cooking skills has been on my To Do list for over a decade now. My cooking is passable but not fantastic, there has been room for improvement and working on my capability. It's nice from my point of view because I can blog without pressure when I feel like it, and it is sharing without sharing too much. It suits me very well right now.
The tomato tartlet has been on my 'make' list for a very long time. I've not included it on [Cooking the books] because it's ready made pastry, pesto and tomatoes. Calling it a recipe is stretching it somewhat. The pesto I used was superb though, not the usual basil that the recipe called for, but an artichoke and truffle pesto as that's what I had in the cupboard. Absolutely fantastic flavour. The finished tart wasn't quite as refined or elegant looking as I hoped, but it was delicious to eat. And I'm trying to make food look pretty, that's a major goal.

Talking of which, I made this pretty looking cake yesterday. You can find the recipe for this on the food blog. I found the recipe a few weeks ago, and kept in thinking that Easter was the perfect time to make it. Rose and pistachio. Wonderful flavour and rose petals and pistachios look beautiful together.

Right now I have no plans to delete this blog, but I don't have any intention of writing very often either. Now and then, when the urge takes me. So no idea when you'll find a post here again, might be soon, might not be for weeks or months. But I am still here.